How to Work With Chronic Anxiety

Where chronic anxiety gets reinforced

I think at the most fundamental level it's relational, which is to say when you are getting, when you're feeling anxious, there's there's no enemy here, there's no pathology here, there's no virus in you, nothing is bad or wrong, there's simply a part of you that thinks something is dangerous and it's trying to help you.

Nick frames anxiety as a part of the nervous system that believes it is protecting you.

Fear versus anxiety

Fear is what you feel when you are confronted with a danger, anxiety is that same system gets activated but it gets activated in terms of stimuli that isn't actually dangerous, like getting nervous about sharing an idea in a meeting even though you don't have a lot of evidence that that's ever happened before.

Keep the distinction in mind when you choose a response, because fear often calls for action and anxiety often calls for relationship work.

The first seven seconds: acknowledge and validate

So you start feeling anxious and then, and this could literally take five seconds, you can say to yourself, all right, I'm getting anxious, I don't like this, but it's not bad, it's okay for me to feel anxious.

This brief pause changes the lesson your brain learns about anxiety.

Why avoidance quietly strengthens anxiety

If you tend to fight or flee in the face of anxiety, it understandably sends the message to your brain, hey, this thing is dangerous. On the other hand, if you just pause and are willing to be with and even approach the anxiety, that sends the opposite signal.

Turning briefly toward the sensation before you distract or escape teaches safety.

Practice

Scheduled worry

Nick recommends scheduled worry for chronic worry and generalized anxiety. It trains a different relationship with worry.

1. Pick a consistent daily time, often early evening, and do it at the same time each day.
2. Sit and write down every worry you notice, from small to catastrophic. Record each one without analysing it.
3. Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes, do not try to solve, analyze, or reassure while writing.
4. When the timer ends, stop, close or discard the page, and move on. Repeat daily as a practice.

Consistent practice signals to your brain there is a time for worry, which makes it easier to let go of worries at other times.

What to do after validation

Now you are relatively free to move on in whatever direction seems helpful, you could literally just get back to whatever it is you were doing, you could decide hey I want to explore this anxiety a little bit more, or you could say because of this anxiety I'm feeling pretty worked up and on edge and I want to address my state now.

Nick gives three directions: return to the meaningful task, regulate the body with breathing or movement, or explore what other emotion the anxiety may be covering.

A boundary with anxiety

When we get a sudden surge of anxiety I think our default reaction is either to run away or fight, it's either like I'm getting out of here or I got to get rid of this thing, instead if you can pause and listen to the anxiety, what that does, you're not impulsively taking orders from it.

That pause creates space so you can decide whether the anxiety is signaling real danger or a habit that can be learned around.

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Continue exploring

• Read The Art and Science of Interoception for a deeper foundation in sensing internal state.
• Try the Anti-Anxiety Toolkit for body-based protocols you can use today.